"You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete."
It's a building with old furnishings. The air stank. There's some faded spots on the carpet. Looked like it hasn't been cleaned in ages. The off-white paint on the ceiling is peeling on its edges. There's some moss growing on the dampness in the corner as you survey the house. Some of the wooden panelling under the carpet creaked as you walk on them. Nobody dared to touch anything in the house, fearing it would make it crumble. The view of the thick layer of dust seen on the cupboards and sofa coverings is intensified by the sunlight that found its way through the old-fashioned glass windows. Don't think it was ever opened 'cause the rust seem to amalgamate with the rest of the metal frame. There was a small room in the house with a locked door. Nobody seemed to have the right key for it. I felt like kicking it wide open, since the house seem to be falling apart anyway. The ventilation in the house doesn't help someone who's been suffering from sinuses and every cough sounded like it caused much pain in the throat.
As we were walking out of the house, someone gestured at me to follow him. I did, and to my amazement, I saw the most beautiful house in my life. I was awe-struck. As I tried to get the words out of my mouth, I said "W-Why are you showing me this house?" He gave me the most heart-warming smile ever. The kind that would make you want to respond back with a nice smile. He reached into his right pocket, and pulled out a key. He said "Do you like the house?" As if that was ever a question, I responded almost instantly, "I love it!" The man said, "Good, here you go." As he said that, he handed me the keys. I didn't know what to do. I looked at him like he was playing the world's biggest prank on me. He just stood there and nodded at me with that smile. That smile.
Melbourne has yet teased us with a little taste of summer. Where art thou is your sting, O winter! :P There's probably a truckload of things and thoughts running through my head now. I need some kind of filing assistant in my head. Like this scene in 'Bruce Almighty' where Morgan Freeman (who played God :D haha!) pulled out this file cabinet that seemed to go on forever.
It's almost midnight now. 15 degrees outside. A little wet from the evening drizzle. One red tram coming to a stop at the corner of victoria & swanston st. Slight breeze coming in.
In my head: pushing in the file cabinet, shutting in gently. stand againts the beige cabinet. close my eyes. Peace that surpasses all understanding; come flood over me.
One of the weekdays last week, I was at Melbourne Central. Out of curiosity, I decided to go into the 'Original Lollies Shop' for a short visit. While I was on the way out, I saw this young Asian girl, probably only about 5-7 years old. She was handing the shop assistant behind the counter a packet of lollies to be weighed then she was going to pay for it. The Aussie shop assistant told her that it's about $5 something. She opened her small palm and knew that she didn't have enough money to pay for all of them. She then told the shop assistant to take away some of the lollies 'cause she hasn't got enough money. Not able to see what the shop assistant was doing, she tried to peer through the gaps in between the jars of lollies to see her taking them out. After that, the young girl paid for the remainder of the lollies.
I stood there. Motionless. Looked at the whole episode as it unfolded before me. My heart broke for the small girl. I wanted to tell the shop assistant that I'll pay for her and it's ok, just put the lollies back in the packet. There was a tinge of sadness seeing the young girl looked at the coins in her palm and knew she didn't have enough. Yet I did not do anything. Forgive me, Father. Give me yet another chance to be Your hands and feet, Lord. Please.
Yet, through this experience, I gained a revelation of our Father's love. If I, someone who is not even related to this young child would feel this way; how much more my Dad in heaven; Who loves me abundantly and extravagantly. It's beyond my understanding and has moved me to tears when I think about His love for me. When You died on the cross and bled for me, You paid the price for everything in that lolly store for me.
"Can I have everything You have for me, Dad?"
*looks at Dad eagerly*
"Sure you can. It has always been Yes and Amen. Go for it"
I'm so in love with You Everything You do Everything You say You never let me go You'll always in control And I give You all my praise" ... Jesus, I will lift Your name up Higher than all other names You are my God You are my King You are my
- Lift Your Name Up, Planetshakers.
That song will probably never be nominated for having the most superb lyrics in the world. It will probably never be on the top whatever charts wherever. It will probably never be nominated for having the best music arrangement. Some other song elsewhere would be crowned 'Song of the Year'. It's probably never going to be a Planetshakers, Hillsong, Delirous, or any Christian band for that matter. It's going to be some other band elsewhere.
However.
What makes this song different from others? It has a nice tune, yes. In fact you could almost put any lyrics to that tune. Any lyrics literally. But when one marries the tune to the power of the Word. BOOM! It has life! In fact, take cover 'cause someone's going to be different. Someone's going to lift their hands and their feet. Someone's going to come with the sacrifice of praise into His courts. Someone, somewhere will be undignified before the Lord of hosts.
In fact, Someone is coming into our midst. In His splendour and majesty, He hears the praises of His people and He says 'That sounds familiar... Ah! That's the voice of my children!' I will go and dwell in their midst. I will sit amongst them because they're not lifting the name of man up, but the Name of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.
And that Someone will say, 'That... is the most superb song in the world.'
Your love covers my sin And washes over me Your grace it draws me in So I can live for You
Jesus You died for me So I will live for You my God
I will lay down my life For the cause of the cross And I won't try to ignore That Your heart's cry is the lost I will go if You say go And I will never give it up I will lay down my life Because You lay down Your life To set me free
Yesterday, I went to an event organised by Kingdom Life, the business ministry of City Church: Breakfast with Ps Neil Smith. Thanks TJ for shouting me the tics. Waking up at 7.45am and taking the tram to the Grand Hyatt, in a gloomy day with a slight drizzle wasn't exactly the best start to the weekend I expect.
However, breakfast wasn't too bad; the complete Aussie breakfast experience. Then at about 10am, Ps Neil Smith came in front to share about 'Making the Switch'. I had to admit that I wasn't too switched on. Blame it on the full brekkie, comfortable chair, pouring rain outside and the early morning. However, I was inspired when Ps Neil started speaking on some of the things God brought his church, Lakes Christian Life Centre (LCLC) through. Amongst others, were a Gloria Jeans franchise situated in the church premises with a booming business everyday of the week, and they own a graphic design business too, complete with in-house designers and such.
Something clicked in my heart when he said that. It was as if a God-inspired vision of sorts were projected out of his mouth. Something like a realistic visualisation of a fraction of a dream that I had for a long time.
Year 2005. Soon going into 2006. Smash the conservative box about what a church should look like. Break out of the mindset of what a church should do and how church music should sound like. Only one thing needs to prevail in the process (which is also the most important): NEVER compromise christianity. The world lives in gray, sometimes shades of white, other times, darker shades of gray. Yet Jesus, lived in black. and. white. This includes the things we say, the words we use, the people who get the most of our time, our attitude to church and ministry, who we are at our workplace or uni, who we are when we're at home. Do not use the excuse that we need to talk, dress, act a certain way so that we attract a certain group we wanna reach out to. Jesus never had to compromise his values or fit into any group. His character and spirit drew people to him.
Never intended to write this. But it serves as a good reminder to myself as well. There is a price for greatness. Yet consider this; there is a price for mediocrity too. It is not how can I afford to do it. It is rather how can I afford NOT to do it. The one life that Jesus gave and promised, is at stake. Hurts Him to think that we often fill our lives with other stuff that should only be filled with Him and Him only.
The time when history was made in my life forever.
That night sitting at L'incontro along Swanston St, the winter chill, the smell of our mocha and hot chocolate on the table in the corner, the sound of your voice, the quietness in the air, the atmosphere... I remember them all. How could I forget that day. How could I forget the journey we took to get here. Our Dad who charted our paths. The One who made our paths cross in Melbourne, and again, when we met for those 9 days, exactly 3 months ago.
It's been 3 months. It's been an awesome 3 months! :)
God is sure taking us on a journey of a lifetime. The 3,800 miles in between us is something that is not easy. As we go through our lives everyday, the knowing that I'm so far away from you makes me feel uncomfortable. Yet God has shown us His faithfulness and His purpose through this distance. With all certainty, I love you more.
You made me discover the wonderful joy of loving somone and be loved. You made me miss someone the way I never imagined it was possible. You make me wanna jump, dance and bop thinking of you. I still remember tearing when I saw you left for Singapore. Never have I felt this way for anyone, but you. Only you. And I want to love you forever. I am beyond glad that it's you - S k y e :)
I'm convinced of our love for each other. Convinced that God will bring us through. Convinced that our love is rooted in God's love and God's will. I love your undivided passion and love for our Dad. I love how you continue to be that woman of God that you are. I love the way you love me and continue to tell me that everyday.
3 months, since we were a couple. 3 months since I told you those 3 words I've been wanting to tell you forever. The best 3 months ever. But the best is yet to come.
You'll always be the most gorgeous girl in my life.
Been a long day. Both physically and spiritually...
Only managed a 4 hour sleep last night due to incessant coughing. Really gotta get medicine from the pharmacy real soon. Internship was really interesting in the morning. Ps Rob talked about preaching styles and studying preachers. We hence had homework to do: Prepare a 5 minute sermon relating to John 3:16. Should be interesting :)
Went to the church office, had a chat with Matt. Talked over issues and topics where we wouldn't have talked about normally. It's interesting what words can do. Let's say the chat was... timely. Went back to the city lugging the lighting and mic. Picked up the camera and Jeremy and I went to the urbanlife in Clayton to get some footage for the planetuni video. Left the place and shot back to the city where we met Jono and Iris at Crown to shoot their part as the MCs for the planetuni promo video. Managed to take some good shots and such, but the lighting ran out of battery and it was time for Jeremy to leave before he miss the last bus.
It has been quite a day.
Am going to journal and pray before I call it a night. Father, I love you and I hold on to you. Let Your love wash me over and over once again. When I wake up in the morning, it will be a new day! Praise God!
The Melbourne of four seasons exudes much charm. Searching through the reserves of my memory, I couldn't tell exactly when Melbourne charm made a connection with the R a y in me. Sometimes, it's beyond me, how this all happened. It could only be the outworkings of our Dad.
It's been 2 years and 8 months since I called Melbourne home. The university years, the graduation, the job, the adulthood. The people, the church, the atmosphere. Counting from the moment I came to Melbourne, it was 1 year and 4 months, before I met the girl whom I fell in love with. 1 year and 3 months after that, we'll be going into the third month since we entered in couplehood! :D
A year from now, I don't know if I'll be sitting here, at 609 Bouverie Close, writing about the journey God took me on. I don't know if I'll be walking down the streets of Melbourne, or sitting on the balcony during the night. I don't know. However, there is one thing I know: A year from now, I will be declaring of God's awesome work in my life. I'll be talking to people how a year before, I wasn't sure where God wants me to be, but look what He has done! I want to be a testimony to people about how God has been faithful. I want to love S k y e more, to be the man that spurs her on.
There's something about the night in Melbourne that I always enjoy.
Maybe it's the stillness, the sense of serenity in the air. Maybe it's the simple joy of finding Orion's Belt in the night sky.
Ah yes :)
There are nights when I'm walking down the streets of Melbourne where I'll never forget. Times when I'm standing on the balcony overlooking Victoria and Swanston Street, embracing the sense of peace. It's wonderful how the simplest things in life makes the biggest difference sometimes.
i used to sleep with the blanket tucked under my legs. that was when i am still a child. but thru the years, i've developed this habit of doing so whenever i go to bed. used to have nightmares of someone coming from under my bed to grab my legs. listen, it ain't funny when you're a little kid like that.
hated the movie 'it'. what kind of twisted mind would come up with something like that to scare kids and give them trauma, with the very thing that kids are (generally) attracted to? i'm not a big fan of clowns for one.
i woke up today, still feel the morning chill seeping into my bones. orange coloured clouds againts a bluish grey sky, was the thing that greeted me as i pulled the curtains to the side. things like that still amaze me. they still make me stop and stand in amazement of God. r
that's the pronunciation key for my name 'ray' (like that would help a non-reader). last random thought: was walking past a pharmacy opposite rmit just now, a thought came to memory; i still don't know for sure what bone density is!
Going to church over the weekend brought my attention to Father's Day, where in Australia, it's celebrated in September.
Ps. Alun Davis preached a great message about being the one (Luke 17:11-19). Where there will come a point in our lives where we have to make a choice to either be the one, or to stay in the crowd. To be the one that honours God. Like David, who stood out and even when the king shrank back. Like Andrew, who was the one that brought Peter to Jesus and thus became the rock on whom God will built His church on. Like Moses, like Paul, like Jesus. The one.
But, the part that struck me was this; When the disciples asked Jesus how they were supposed to approach God, bearing in mind that they didn't knew anything about God except what they knew from the old testament, where the priest have to represent the people to step into the temple, and God would speak to them through a loud voice, a thunderous cloud or a burning bush. Where God is Yahweh, the One who created the earth. So, when the disciples asked Jesus how then should they approach this God He's been telling them about. Jesus answered in a way that would blow their mind! He said, 'This is how you should come before God, "Our Father in Heaven..." Our Father. Our Dad! The God of all creation, who desires His children to call Him...
Dad.
Being Father's Day also brought most of our attention to Ps. Matt Fielder, who is our university pastor and he's very much a father figure for most of us in the planetUni discipleship. We decided to buy him a trip to Falls Creek. I made him a Father's Day card on behalf of all of us and this was how it looked like:
I enjoyed designing the card, even though I only slept at 5.30am that night before. But being able to show the appreciation and gratitude to someone who poured so much into my life and also the life of others is an honour indeed.
Father's Day reminds me of Dad in Heaven. And it brings a smile to my face knowing that He's a God who's madly in love with me.
It's strange how certain things and memories spring up and feels so vivid in your head.
I remember parking at the driveway of my home, coming back from an hour of traffic jam in the city. Once a while, I'll pull the waterhose out and give my car a wash (it's nice on a sunny weekend). I remember getting calls on my mobile at about 10-ish pm (religiously) on friday or saturday night from my church and high school buddies asking me out for a drink. And when you say you're going out for a drink in Malaysia, people know it's gathering around a table in a mamak, order an iced tea, kick back and chat till about midnight. Once a while, the ever tempting naan, or roti chanai (otherwise known as prata) makes up part of a goooood supper :) mmm!
Back home, there's no need to checking the weather report before you go out. No need of layering. Unless you enjoy perspiring underneath your clothes. Church on saturdays and sundays are nice. Once a while, I'll get rostered doing video camera. Our church has 3 video cameras usually, one in the center, one on the left side and one called the roaming camera (known popularly as cam3). I usually do cam3 and that's nice 'cause you get to roam around the stage getting good shots of musicians and such.
Some weeknights, I'll hop in the car, with my sports attire on and play some basketball with my schoolmates. We end up chatting and messing around more than we play basketball. There were countless time when we gave the evil-eye and complained about the middle-aged ladies doing line dancing, who often occupied the basketball court. "Helloooo, it's (ahem) The Basketball Court, ladies?" haha! oops, that's my flesh speaking there?..
Back home, I love my mandarin, 'cause when no one else thinks I could speak or understand mandarin/cantonese/hokkien/teochew, I like the occasional surprise by speaking or replying back in their own mother tongue. But that's not the reason why I love my mandarin, I love it 'cause I know it's not tops, yet my family and friends understand what I'm saying and we feel like a family. I miss family.
I miss my dad's wrinkle on the face when he cracks a joke and laughs before all of us do. I miss my mom's loud laugh or the way she answers the phone. Or the way she coax me to accompany her to the market or to the evening tea at her favourite coffee shop for tim sum. I love the way my brother serves in church and jumps and lifts his hands passionately during worship. I love the way he calls me 'Ray' in church among his friends and 'kor' when he wants me to do him a favour (haha!). Pasar malam sessions are our traditional family bonding time. During the weekends, I would drive my family to the nearby pasar malam, we would walk around, buy the soya bean milk or sugarcane juice. Mom would get her groceries while the guys in the house would take turns being the one carrying the stuff. haha! Then, we would either rock up at one of the restaurants that serve up dishes of different food or the nasi lemak stall in the pasar malam that our family loves.
Don't know exactly why I'm writing these things. But I reckon, it's nice to get these things off the chest when one's been thinking about it.
