God, I pray that out of Your glorious abundant riches in heaven, that You may strengthen me with Your power through Your Spirit in me, all for the purpose so that Christ may dwell in my heart through the faith You have planted in me. And I pray that as You have called me into Your love and made me planted and established in love, that I may have the power (that comes from You) to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is Your love for me, and to understand Your love that surpasses my human wisdom. So that I can be filled to the absolute measure of You in me. That You may increase I will decrease. Now, to You who is able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine, according to Your power that is at work in me, I give You all the glory and praise that You so deserve. There is more in You, today and forevermore. Let me live in the abundance of Your glory, Lord. Amen.
I am completely and utterly blown away by my girlfriend's ability to make my birthday so awesome!
I am in awe. Totally dissolved into a millions pieces just by looking and holding the various things that she sent through, think I lost my legs somewhere in even discovering what's in it! hehe ;) Just a bit past the halfway mark in 2005, and I'm totally blown away by how amazing this year already is. But it just got better. Definately heaps better!
How do you do it, S k y e Tan? How do you make me so happy? :)
I thank God for you, for all of you! I love you, dearest!!!!!
There'll be at times when it feels like all you have is hope. Times when you feel you're surrounded by so much uncertainties where the only sure thing is God and His promises.
Hope, is like a postcard with a picture of God's promises for you in it. And all you can do is to hold on to it, in fact hold on to it tight. Because in it, there's a line below that says "wished you're here..."
I'm on my way there, Lord...
I'm looking at the picture of the future that you have for me, and for us and I say, "Lord, I will hold on to the hope that you've given and to all of Your promises." I'm just going through a temporary phase of turbulence where after that, I will soar higher than before. Where Your wings will take me to a new level with You. Where Your right hand will uphold me and lift me up.
For now, I'm on my way there, Lord. I believe.
"But you, dear friend, must continue to build your lives on the foundation of your holy faith. And continue to pray as you are directed by the Holy Spirit. Live in such a way that God's love can bless you as you wait for the eternal life that our Lord Jesus Christ in his mercy is going to give you."
- Jude verses 20-21 [NLT]
Awesome verse. I have never came across this verse before until Ps. Danny Gugleilmucci shared about it in the Generations Leadership Masterclass tonight. Live in such a way where God can bless You and extend His hand of blessing upon Your life. wow.
I want that in my life! so much!!!
Help me, Lord. That I will live a life that is worthy of Your calling. Being a Planetshakers intern and urbanlife leader means absolutely nothing, if I don't know You and Your ways. Create in me a heart of worship. Like David, a man after Your own heart; is something that I desire and pursue. Then, I know with all certainty that when I do that, You will give all these things to me. You will place Your hand of blessing upon my life, my relationship with S k y e, upon my family and friends, upon the ministry, and upon everything that I put my hand to, You will be there.
I know that I'm on my way there. You're guiding me everyday, step by step. I'm getting closer to that somewhere, You've prepared for me and for us.
God, empower me to live for tomorrow.
I'm on my way there. I've started this journey of going from the pasture to the palace. I'm going to hold Your hand, Lord. I'm not letting go. And dear, I'm going to hold your hand and not let go. We will walk into our future together. That picture of us in that postcard from Dad? I will hold on to it and never let go.
We are on the way there. To the hope He has for us.
"Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me."
-Psalms 63:7-8
I will sing, and yet will I praise Your name. I will stay beneath Your wings and dwell in the shadow of the Almighty. I will cling on to You because You said that Your right hand will uphold me. You are my Lord, and You are our Lord. We trust You with our life, Lord.
We will praise You because You are awesome and wonderful. You have made everything beautiful in its time. We truly believe in that. Now and forevermore. We give our lives to You, Jesus, our Lord and King.
"A wonderous mystery In the pages of history Of a man who bled and died for me He's more than a story He's the one who hung upon a tree His crimson flow poured out for me Gave His life to set me free"
- I fall to my knees, Planetshakers.
When I contemplate on Your love for me, there were countless times when I remember tears rolling down my cheek. How could it be? That a King of glory came down and died for someone like me. How could it be? As Your walked to Calvary, the pain, the torture, the piercing sword, the mockery, the thorns that were crushed to Your forehead, the... spear through Your side.
You bore it all for me. You took away my shame. You took the crown of throns to the cross. But the Father gave You the name that is higher than any other name. You are crowned King of Kings and Lord of Lords. And I will worship You forever. I will lift up Your name and I will praise You for all my days. I love you, Lord.
There is none like You. The author of my life. The one who holds my future in the palm of Your hands. With the same hands that created the universe, You formed me in my mother's womb and with the same hands, you take my hands and walk me into my future. I will cling on to You and hold on with every ounce of strength in me, I will hold on and not let go. Because You have never let me go, You have always believed in me.
I believe in You and trust in Your unfailing love, Lord. I will put my hope in You and delight myself in You. Teach me Your ways, Lord. No mountains is too high for You and no ocean too deep for You to reach me and rescue me. Take me with You and let me soar with You, God.
History Maker, Delirious blasting from my boss's room. Huge bear hugs from Rohan, my boss. Rock electric guitarist impersonations. Nice mug of warm tea on a cold wintry morning.
That made up my morning, 20 minutes after I came into the office.
Nice :)
God! History Maker still makes me pumped! I feel like doing a Lleyton Hewitt C'MON!!!!!!
...
C'MMMOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mmm... I'm happy now :) haha! and S k y e dear, you, made history in my life!
Just me and my PowerMac. My colleagues are in a web programming seminar in the city as I'm blogging now.
Four and a half months. That's how long I've been working as a graphic designer. I remember praying so hard for this job, I would probably part the Red Sea if I were praying any harder. It's a wonder God didn't just zap me, ask me to shut up and trust Him.
Fast forward to four and a half months later, here I am trying hard to rise above the rigidness of the daily work routine. I really can't complain because not only did God gave me a job, He blessed me with excellent bosses that allows me to take leave on Wednesdays for internship and I'm doing something that I enjoy doing. All that and I got hired even before I obtained my Australian PR.
So, you see.. there's nothing I should complain about. 'Cause I reckon if I do, God may have to zap me this time (in a loving way, I hope).
But, you know what?
I'm thankful.
Even in times of uncertainty and times when I just have to hold on, there is much to give thanks for. For all that is happening around me, my wonderful girlfriend God brought into my life, the people God placed around me, the job, the family.... His awesome promises...
That was the title of the article from a Christian magazine that I picked up and read while waiting for Matt to come back from a meeting.
It was talking about the lessons we can learn from the life of Jacob from the Genesis 32 passage, where he wrestled with God till daybreak until God had to bless him. Verse 26 that says, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." That's the heart of Jacob, the heart that is faith-filled, so much so that he could demand such a blessing from God Himself. Such is the faith in God that he is willing to risk being hurt and weary by holding on. But in that darkness, he held on... and on... and on.... he didn't let go until God blessed him in the morning.
"There are some things that can only be achieved by wrestling! There are some things we much get hold on God for - with tenacious faith that will not let go until we are blessed! Tenacious faith is needed to bring blessing into some areas of our life! Tenacious faith is needed to change some things! Tenacious faith is needed if we want to experience significant blessing in our life! .... Why do we sometimes need to wrestle for blessing? Because it is character changing! It brings our destiny to birth!! When you hold on to your faith in God for a blessing - the Jacob in you is taken away and the Isreal in you is revealed! Wrestling is needed to get the Jacob out of you! Wrestling is needed to give birth to the Isreal in us!"
"But before God allowed him to enter a place of his destiny - Jacob had to be changed into a person of destiny suitable for the place of his destiny!" - Alun Davies
Holding on, fueled with the faith in God, gives birth to the blessing of God and leads our way to the destiny God has for us.
To the promises to God, to the future, hope and destiny He has for us, to every blessing in heaven for us...
As I was travelling on the morning train to work, I did my devotion, when I came upon this awesome verse:
"God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11 [NLT]
Spot on.
God madeeverythingbeautiful in its own time. Everything covers a lot. Everything is absolute. Everything is all. Therefore, all the more reasons I will trust and believe in You. All the more reasons I will hold on to You. All the more reasons I will keep calling you Abba Father, God and my Lord.
You have planted eternity in my heart. You have given me a hope for the future. You have given me a vision that makes me press on, and look ahead. You said that those who look back on the plow are not fit for the kingdom of God. I will look in front, Lord. I will press on for the prize that Christ Jesus has for me, and for us.
Yes, I'm glad that there is an "us", S k y e dear.
The next five and a half month will be awesome. God did not promise a storm-free life, but a storm-proof one as He is there, always. You are my Rock in which I will stand upon and cling on. You are my Rock in which I will hide and find shelter.
There's been a phrase that has been repeating itself in my head lately, and that is "There's more."
God, bring us into the future and the destiny that You have for us. For Your promises are Yes and Amen! We will hold on, we will press on and we will see that one day You have prepared for us.
But for now, and for tomorrow, I will declare that You have made everything beautiful in its time. I want to thank You for Your faithfulness and goodness that is from everlasting to everlasting.
We've been together for a month now, dear. And I still stand amazed by what our Dad is doing and amazed by how sweet and wonderful you are. You're right, we're constantly discovering new depths of how much we can miss each other.
I'll hold on to your hand, and to His Hand as we walk on this journey God took us. "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6) He began an awesome work in us, love. In a lot of ways, you are awesome. You make my life brighter, so much more wonderful.
The city on a hill that cannot be hidden. Let me not be ashamed of telling my world the gospel of Your love.
Today God turned around a meeting with my manager into a discussion about God and the church. He was telling me about how he just got saved and convicted that the purpose and meaning of life is found in God and how he knew that only Jesus could save us. He was asking me about my beliefs, so I told him that I'm a Christian and I there are some standards that I set for myself in the office, about how I conduct myself (whenever there's a Friday drinking session and such). He said he was impressed and respected the decision. But what was even more amazing, is that he started telling me that for 29 and a half years of his life, he didn't believe in God, until a month ago. We were all watching the final episode of 'John Saffran versus God' during our lunch time break. And in there, it featured John Saffran (an international telejournalist) that confronted Bob Larson, a widely known exorcist from America.
Right after watching it, he said he felt something stirring in his heart that there is more. That what he saw, was not just an act, but there is a whole spiritual aspect to it that he had to know. Hence, he went on this journey of discovering this Christ that we know and love. He mentioned that he was going to be baptised very soon and that he will be taking the opportunity to have a meeting with the Anglican church down the road to see if there's anything we can do as a company to impact the community in Boronia.
He has been going around the company asking whether the staff were Christian, and if there were not, why. We began to chat about church, when I asked him whether he's been to church before. He said that his first time in church was about a month ago when he attended Planetshakers City Church in Festival Hall. Did I hear you mention Planetshakers? - I said. He said that was his first time in church and he liked it, and said something about the American pastor (Ps. Glen Berteau) who mentioned things that really made sense to him. He said he was curious about church when he visited planetshakers.com and read Ps Russell Evans as being the leader of the leaders, which he felt was true and he mentioned that he really want to meet him one day too.
Wow!
What was even more amazing is that, my other boss who co-owns the company was a backslidden Christian, but when he saw that this guy, my boss being all fired up with the Word and just wanting to know more about God, he got fired up as well. So, now he is attending church and reading the Bible. There was once when I saw him reading the Bible when he had some free time in between talking to clients on the phone. So, it turns out that the person who brought my 2 bosses to Planetshakers City Church was this guy who was a major investor in the company.
I'm amazed, Lord.
Utterly amazed.
Continue blowing my mind, Lord.
By the way, my boss changed the mission statement of the company to something like this (can't remember the whole thing) - To change and impact the community in Australia and abroad by commerce and by the Spirit. He was telling me that when he changed that, he had the Holy Spirit in mind, hence he included the Spirit part.
I wish I'm teleported to Singapore. Even if it's just for one day.. let it be today. There's nothing like spending that one special day with the one you love. It's my girlfriend's birthday today. But dear, I know that this will only the be the first one of the many, many birthdays we'll celebrate together.
Like every single day, I'll wake up and thank God for someone as beautiful and gorgeous as you. But on this day, I'll wake up and thank God that He has brought you into this world and how He's seen all the days of your life, even today. Even us, love. Thank God for how He's made you into the wonderful woman of God that you are, and that you will be. I thank God for you. You came into my life and made it different. You made it so much more beautiful.
Work ended at about 5.00pm today and like every other weekday, I'll hop on the 5.27pm train from Boronia and reach the Flinders Street Station at about 6.15pm.
But unlike every other weekday, it's the start of the weekend today. And like every weekend, the feeling of missing my girlfriend escalates. The idea of sharing the weekends with her always seem to be perfect. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else really. My mind often takes a trip down memory lane rewinding to the time when we were together here in Melbourne. One word: nostalgia.
However, unlike every other weekend, this will be the first weekend where I celebrate my girlfriend's birthday since we got together as a couple. And of course, a start of many, many more :) I'll often think about how it will be like to spend our first brithday together as a couple, but i reckon one word: awesome!
One day, dear.. one day.
With every passing weekend, it is the closing in of that one day.
God, be with them now more than ever. There are few words neccesary when something of this magnitude takes place. The sharp pierce into the heart of humanity; and what it stands for.
Times like this make me want to be with my loved ones. Makes me think of you dear and how I want to be with you. Times like this make me feel uneasy with the distance.
But I'll trust You, Lord.
I'll say a prayer for you and for us. I'll keep holding on tight.
There is a certain joy in getting the gift for someone you love. The sense of wanting to be there escalates as the date draws near.
An MMS came through yesterday night as I came back from City Church's discipleship course. I clicked through to the Optus website to find the picture of a familiar box. The box that was right here in the room of 609 Bouverie, 3 days ago. My heart raced at the thought of my girlfriend opening the box of presents I sent on Sunday.
I love it that they're with you now, dear.
Things close to our hearts. Things that meant much to us. Things that I really want you to have.
You bring a smile to my face, S k y e. You brought such joy into my life. Just the thought of how awesome and wonderful you are blows my mind. Except my mind takes the liberty of hopping on a flight to Singapore every single day without fail :) haha
Me: Come back mind 'o mind, I still need you for work, ministry and what-nots. My heart is already there looong time ago.
Mind: I would like to go back to Melbourne, but... S k y e's here....
Fact is, this mind of mine has developed an affection for you long time back.
*joy* been fiddling around with it; very nice. Went to 55/222 to get it yesterday. Yes, the place did bring back heaps of memories. The canto-pop (for those who don't have a clue, it's ok), the corridor, the lift, the door, the smell of the place... hmm...
Oh, wait.. I'm talking about the phone here *drags mind back from 55/222* :D
What's nice about the phone is that it came from Singapore, right from you, love :) I like that idea, really. For a guy that owned a Nokia 3330 for almost 4 and a half years, having the Motorola RAZR is very appealing. Especially coming from my girlfriend, it just made it very deep in its sentimental value.
And thanks for the letter, dear. You're very sweet.
Half a month since we've been together. Together in how God has worked His miracle in bringing us together. And into the destiny He is bringing us to, as we walk on this journey together as a couple.
There were many times last year when I thought, "God, how on earth can You make 2005 better than this year?" Only 6 months down the track and God has did incredibly and infinitely more. Only 6 months and 2004 is officially the second best year now.
It has been a year of testing, a year of going to the next phase of my life. But better, next phase of entering into a new phase of life with someone whom I love, someone whom I call my girlfriend now. Someone whom I would look decades down the road and say now that, it is worth giving my life, my love and my best to her. To my girlfriend dearest :)
I miss you.
Just to be with you dear. I would lay down everything here, just to be with you.
For 24 years of my life, God has brought me through certain emotions, lessons that has to be learnt, things that needed to be built into my core and characters that needed to be refined. God has brought me through relationships in order to shape me and mould me into the R a y that I am today. God has to bring me through those relationships so that I'm prepared for who He has prepared for me today so that I'm able to give my best; the best years of my life. For as I held on and put my trust in Him, He has brought someone into my life whom I desire to spend my life with. To spend my life loving her and to give her my best, and to love her more and more.
As we entered into a relationship together half a month ago, it was not without prayer and seeking God. For the four and a half months where we were praying together, where our emotions were out in the open, where the risk of vulnerability were so high; we were holding on. Holding on to the promises of God, holding on to His Word, holding on to our love and to each other.
There were times when the pain of being separated surfaced and felt so real and the missing gets so deep it aches, but there were times when thinking about where we are and where God is bringing us to brings a smile to my face. A smile that acknowledges God, "You are Lord, and I place all of my emotions, all of my life into Your hands because I know I can trust in You."
God has been awesome and He will continue to be. He is a God of advancement, a miracle-working God. I know I can trust You, Lord.
Thinking about you, dear. Always thinking about you and about us.
Never have I experience such joy of giving my heart to someone who loves me so much and whom I just want to love with all that is in me. You have my heart dear. You will always have my heart. You already have my heart, and it doesn't make me happier and more thankful to know that it's you.
I've always been cautious about letting people into my life. I guess I've always been aware of certain risks involved in that level of vulnerability. But you dear, you come into my world and you make me want to be vulnerable, you make me want to share this life with you for the rest of my life.
For the rest of my life. That's a heavy statement. yeah... as heavy as that may sound, I know it is a life spent well, a life where I can love someone totally and extravagantly and know that I'm being loved too. And I want to be committed to this love, I want to be committed to you. It doesn't matter if there's any other girls. All that matter is, there is you, S k y e :)
I want to do life with you.
I want to love you for the rest of my life.
It has been half a month, which means that there's so much more for us. So much more of life we are going to do together, as a couple :)
Melbourne is where we fell in love. Melbourne is where we got together. Melbourne is where we started to dream where God can take us, into the future and destiny He has for us. And into the destiny is where we will walk into. Day by day, we're nearer to the destiny He has for us. Four and a half months ago, we would have never thought we would be here. But God sure has a plan. That Big Guy sure does. And we will walk on His plan because it is a life that is lived to the full.
There is more.
This is just the start. Yet the start already blows my mind. There is you. There is me. There is God. There is lots of love :) There is a forever for us.
I'm looking forward to that one day when we will see each other again. I can't wait to see the future God has for you and me, and us.
